Self-reflection

I wish i was in a church right now...2 O'clock in the morning...kneeling with a candle on the side.

I wanna just reflect on what i value, what my goals are, what I see as importance.
For many people, social status and a career is a crucial part in their lives. I'm not agruing that it isn't. Being supportive is good in the long run but I value many other things. I think just being a good person throughout your life is a good trait. I belive that those who are true, kind and fair shall be rewarded when we die. Sure a good career and a lot of money is great, but how much of that wealth could we really carry to the afterlife (if there is one).

All I know is, I could be the poorest person on earth, a complete fool and still be happy. Some of you might think that I am too simple, chill or carefree and that is understandable. My values in life are not the same as your and shouldn't they be? we're all humans but were not identical are we.

I just know that I wanna be honest as much as possible,
I wanna be able to help others,
I wanna be joe,
I just wanna be respected
I wanna be happy.

If i could wish for anything it would be so I wouldn't have to worry about what others think about me. I worry about it alot. I always have a fear about failing to meet someones expectations. dad wants me to be a technition for X-ray machines and Im alright with that. as of right now i dont really have any interest of my own. when I think about this, it kind of makes me sad. I mean, whenever Im at school, everyone i know are soo sure of what they wanna be, what they wanna do with their lives. Everytime i reflect about what I wanna value in my life...I would have to say my very own kid. I know I dont have one but future wise, I know that I will love him/her. I will raise them to be good people.

If I was at the church, I'd be asking God about what I should do? are my values wrong? am I not being realistic?