Dear God

(I don't even know if this would work but hey..)
How ya doin? I feel like crap right now. Everything is going bad for me except for leadership. kristine and I have had problems...again. I don't know what to do, i really don't know what to do. I try to be there for her, i really do but it seems like my pressence is unaffective. would there even be a difference if I wasn't there? idk, im not sure if i even wanna try it. she'd probably get mad at me and yell "I can't believe you" sigh. im so lost. im not asking you for anything, i just needed someone to listen. Leadership is finally starting to make a turn about, it took hella energy out of me though, whatever at least they were making progress i think that was a profit. school is still okay, just afraid i'll be declined from the final for tardyness and scared i might not be about to sign up for my classes. family. Dad. he blew off yesterdays practice and today was like only one hour of practice. I hate the signing up for the appointment online its so freaken complicated. annoying. Peter is always late so I ended up doin the dishes and helping out the house :/ i wish i had something i can lash out at without being blamed for. i can't scream cause the neighbor would be like "wtf call 911!" i wish i could close my eyes and be on the beach at night when i open them. i just wanna hear the waves hit the shore and slide back into the ocean. a candle would be nice. just me, the ocean, and the moon. I could reflect on my freaking depressing life and scream the hell i want into the ocean and cry for a bit. I wanna let loose of everything im holding in. damn this society. sigh. thanks for listening to me rant about my insignificant life. hopefully i can make it better. pray for me? ya ya thought not. kay talk to you some other time man.