"The last time I felt God"

so hey, the faith sharing's topic was "when was the last time you felt God"?
There were many times that I could've spoke up an tell you guys about it from my perspective, but I didn't. And I'm glad I didn't because Camille and Tina had very good responses and it was important that it should be said. So I'm happy it turned out the way it did, I just wished that I would've had the guts to say my thoughts.

Anywayssssss~ I've decided to type it instead ^^ hahaha
So the last time I felt God in my life was either of theses three
When Sophia told us of her situation in the convent
or Lumos II in the room where we all cried
if not one of those two, then when I cried in church

not sure which one was the last time so I'll just go through each one xD
*forgetful me hahahaha*
so I thought I felt God when Sophia told us her situation because of the goal we had that year. Our project was "One life" and to have a person in our community, in our class, of our age? it just shocked me. I guess it was a lesson to be learn, but yeah to have something like that happen it just gave me more faith =]

Lumos? need I say more? if you went you would know xD
but yeah it was beautiful when we all cried *night and day* but especially day cause we hella balled our eyes out. To me it looked so heavenly, so at peace, so beautiful. idk if im using the right words or not but thats basically what I felt ha ha

lastly, the church. I remember I was under a lot of stress and I couldn't cope with that so I needed to cry. my mom dropped me off or something *cant remember* but I came into his house and knelt down before him and just had a talk to God. Its silly I know, how you're just talking to someone who isn't physically there, but thats what I did. Believe it or not, I've tried to talk to him and it just feels alot better to tell someone about my problems. I think of God as my "imaginary friend" ya know? so I sat there, to him what has been hurting me, what has been stressing me, what I hoped for. He didn't say anything, lol he never does ^^ but that doesn't matter to me though as long as I vented. And so as I confessed these problems to him, I cried...tears fell to his floor. =] For me? I think I feel God whenever I talk to him. but this happened a long time ago so im not sure if its the last time I felt God or not. but yeah

I haven't talked to him lately, not cause I don't want to but just cause I just don't. Instead for some reason I keep asking him for stuff, like please save ____, or I wish ____. I feel unworthy...straight up unworthy, every time I enter his house. Who am I, to receive the body and blood of Christ. I don't deserve such thing. You might have noticed that I haven't been going up to receive him. Its not because I have sinned, well maybe I have but more importantly I felt unworthy to accept it. He, Jesus sacrificed himself for us, to save us. I keep thinking how can anyone sacrifice out of so much love for his people like that. I can't compare to that...Im just some kid. but yeah, its been the longest time since I received the bread of the lord. I might receive him if I talked with him alot and feel that I haven't done anything bad lately but besides that I am too ashamed of myself to receive him.

I pray...for you